Case Study Tod and Reggie Essay Example for Free

Case Study Tod and Reggie Essay After speaking with Mr. Todd and Mr. Reggie I have concluded that they would be great candidates for couples counseling. Taking away the fact that they are the same sex, I do not feel that it should affect the outcome of the services that will be provided for the couple listed above. I am very proud of Mr. Todd and Mr. Reggie for coming in to seek counseling as a couple. That within its self speaks volumes to the commitment of their relationship and love for one another. I advised both parties involved about the necessity for counseling. Letting them know that most couples come in to seek help when they feel that this is the last result before breaking up. It’s difficult to move forward in a relationship when anger and resentment have built up to such a degree that there are few conflict-free areas of discussion. Seeing a professional to help you talk to each other so you are not disagreeing on the smallest of things and arguing over the same situations with no resolutions, can be a very good idea. I assured them that we would do all in our power to make sure that we set some realistic goals at the ending of each session. We went on to talk and I gathered some information that I felt was interesting and important. I feel that I would like at some point to speak with each Mr. Todd and Mr. Reggie on an individual session. I will determine that as we move further into the sessions and gather if they would like to have a session where they are able to speak with me one on one. I have devised a plan that would help them with the extended family issues that they both are undergoing, also some information on anger and domestic violence, as well as some communication skill building exercises that they a can work on with each other as well as for their personal gain. Going over their family issues I felt held a lot more value in their lives and if could be addresses would help remove some of the stress and anxiety they both undergo on a day to day basis. We talked about the effect that they felt the roles of the absent extended families where causing in their relationship. I did ask questions such as â€Å"Are you families aware that you are an interracial couple?†, â€Å"Is that a reason that you have limited or no contact?†, â€Å"What was the reaction of your family when you told them that you were gay?†, â€Å"Where your families there for you while incarcerated?†, â€Å"How was your relationship with your family before telling you were gay?† , â€Å"Was you and your family closer before you went to prison?† They each answered honestly about the feelings they had incurred during the past few years of their lives. We talked about a support system outside of each other and their families. They both agre ed the lack of family support had a negative impact on their relationship, and have not been able to fully accept it. I informed that their families’ acceptance of their relation would take time, and should be viewed as a process. They would have to make some tough choices to whether or not to continue to try and have their family in their lives are work solely on their relationship. They will have to some type of understanding on their extended family situations. Not dealing with it can be unhealthy and they will need to ask which relationship is most important to them at this time. I did advise until their families where ready to come to terms with their relationship, they should look into starting a family of friends and others who understand their relationship. This could consist of friends who are straight and homosexual. I handed them some fliers to some local coming out groups that meet in there are on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I felt it would be a great way to give them another outlet to network amongst individuals who have been through are going through what they are currently going through. I handed out pamphlets on domestic violence to each Mr. Todd and Mr. Reggie. I felt we needed to address the issues of anger and physical threats or actions toward one another. I did also advise them that they I would have to report any physical violence that I am made aware of. To help alive them of the stress they both made out contracts of good faith agreements that they would walk away and respect the others space if a conversation was turning violent and they felt it may result in a physical altercation. We all shook on it and dug deeper into why they felt they needed to result to physical or verbal violence. They were informed of the domestic violence statics in relationships that end in death. Both men agreed that that is not what they wanted for one another. They were encouraged to do some research on domestic violence which they both where highly surprised by what they had found. We also started anger management skills for the both of them. I had them make a rule poster to place in their homes to remind them of the session. We went over 10 steps that would help them both with managing their anger. I did inform them that it would not come over night and they would have to make conscious decisions to apply these skills once they leave the session. Taking time to cool off before addressing why you are angry would be the first stop. Then calmly once you have gathered all your thoughts letting the person or your partner know why you were angry. I noticed how in shape Reggie was and advised maybe exercising or doing something that brings joy and peace to them. Think before you speak was a very good one. That way they did not say things they truly did not mean. Once you say something you cannot take it back so you must watch what you say. Next try and come up with a solution to help you not from becoming so angered by an action or comment. That could be just walking away or making a joke to ease the tension. Use the â€Å"I† statement and not the â€Å"You† statements. Once you have talked about it, let it go. Do not keep it bottled up inside you and have resentment for the person. Again make a joke or say something off the wall when you feel that it may be heading towards you becoming angered. That could be let’s just get some ice cream and talk about this later, to you see that squirrel fly by on the balloon? Just something that will lighten the mood and redirect you both to important situation at hand. Maybe making a relaxation area or technique that you can do, that helps calm you down. That could be reading a book, going to see a movie, shopping, cleaning, or writing. Lastly when all else fails and you don’t know what to do. Seek help before something bad happens. After a few sessions I was to hear that they had implemented these practices and things had started looking better for them. Those anger management exercises lead into working on their communication with each other. Reggie may have been more physically dominating, but Todd was more verbally dominating. I noticed that Todd would over talk Reggie in sessions, and I didn’t think he meant to do it on purpose. Todd was unaware of it and did not fully understand that it would cause Reggie to feel in adequate therefore Reggie would lash out with violence because he felt his voice and opinions where not heard or valued. Todd was amazed that something so small could be so powerful. We began working on listening to each other. Really hearing what the other was saying and validating each other’s opinions and values. The way that had been raised played a large part in the way they communicated with each other. Being open and honest with each other would help them go along way as well with communicating. It would bring them closer with each other. Also paying attention to the nonverbal cues that they give off when feeling frustrated. Staying focused on what they are talking about at the time. Not talking about something that happened in the past or what could happen. Just stay focused on the subject at hand and make sure to settle that issue. Try to not get so emotional when talking about subjects that are important. Look at the whole picture and not just how you feel about the subject. Know when to just throw your hands up and walk away from the discussion if you feel that it is not going the way you want it to go. You do not always have to be right, and it gives your partner the comfort that you are willing to compromise in tough situations. Again make jokes or just go in for a big kiss. That always helps and lets your partner know they are more important to you. Again that brings down the tension in the conversation and gives you both a chance to rethink things over. Never know that kiss may just make them forget what was being said and you can go for some ice cream. Lastly remember communicating is more than talking, it is also actions. Maybe leaving notes or gifts, or just signs that you are thinking of each other always helps. It could be as small as taking out the trash with our being asked to as large as a vacation to a beach resort. No matter how big or small the gesture your partner will appreciate it. After these sessions with Mr. Todd and Mr. Reggie I have seen growth. I am happy to report that Reggie’s back home with Todd. They both have found jobs and are currently making their apartment cozier and entertainment friendly. They continue to go out and meet people in there are who accept them for them. They have a network of support and are also helping out with recently released inmates who are also gay and going through some of the same obstacles that faced. Todd’s mother has actually came and visited him and Reggie. Todd stated that it will take her some time to get used to but she is giving some more support. Unfortunately Reggie’s sisters had not come around but we were able to help Reggie get some closure of his mom’s death. He continues to seek therapy for the loss and he is doing a wonderful progress. He did admit dealing with his family issue and the death of his mom have helped his anger issues and he is able to calm himself down very easily now. Todd and Reggie are listening to each other and communicating with each other very well. They still have a ways to go, but in the short time they have started practicing the techniques they have made excellent strides towards approving. Todd listens more to Reggie rather than over talking him. It doesn’t matter who you are the same fundamentals of love are all the same. We start from our personal backgrounds and to the way we communicate with each other. Todd and Reggie are all of us in some sort of way. Being gay or straight we all have the same problems. With the correct education and help and support we can all over come any obstacle that is placed before us. References Grohol, J. (2009). 9 Steps to Better Communication Today. Psych Central. Retrieved from http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/04/14/9-steps-to-better-communication-today/ Mayo Clinic.com (1998-2013). Anger Management: 10 tips to tame your Temper Retrieved from http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/anger-management/MH00102

Self-discovery in Siddhartha Essay -- Hesse Siddhartha Essays

Self-discovery in Siddhartha Siddhartha, the novel by Hermann Hesse is what can be included as one of the epitomes of allegorical literature. This wondrous novel is focused on the tribulations of Siddhartha through his quest for inner peace. He started out as a young Brahmin's son always thirsting for more intellect and perspective in his life and from there on he endured many transitions. Siddhartha let himself experience all forms of life in his society. He unhesitatingly learned more about how different people lived by stepping into their shoes. He gained the vast varieties of intellect and perspective that he had longed for through his diversity, and he shrewdly applied it to compose his accurate philosophies of everyday life. Siddhartha's character exemplifies the insatiable feeling that everybody harbors. He stood for a unity of individuals. He stood for their thirst, and most importantly he stood for their ultimate quench; He stood for the insatiable feelings that all people have and need to eventually fill. As the Brahmin's son, Siddhartha could not contain himself. He was restless and felt that he had learned all he had to learn amongst his elders, and he was right. He chose to follow another path in life, a path that would show him another part of how people in his world lived. Siddhartha did not allow himself to stick to something that he could not feel to be right, thus he could not stay and worship the gods his father worshipped. He, as disconte... ...the same time, which all continually changed and renewed themselves and which were yet all Siddhartha... He saw the naked bodies of men and women in the postures and transports of passionate love...He saw all these forms and faces in a thousand relationships to each other, all helping each other, loving, hating and destroying each other and become newly born..." (p121) Siddhartha not only experienced them but he overcame them so well that he eventually achieved a great peace inside of him. He was an example for people to follow through the rigorous course of self discovery.

Critique on against gay marriage Essay

The modern world is experiencing transition in all aspects of life. This change is being experienced in marriage whereby some people are moving a way from the belief that marriage should only take place between people of same sex. They have gone to an extent of pushing for marriage between people of same-sex to be accorded the same treatment and recognition just like the case with the heterosexual marriage. Some people believe that marriage should be heterosexual while others believe that even homosexuals have a right to marry and live with their partners just like a husband and wife in opposite-sex marriage. This paper presents a critique in support of gay marriage. The society especially in the current state is crippling with many social problems emanating from heterosexual marriage. One of these problems is unwanted pregnancies which arise from irresponsible relationships. This is an incident which can only happen in a marriage between two people of opposite sex. Embracing same-sex marriage would offer a remedy to this problem because there is no chance of pregnancy in a marriage between gays and lesbians. This would also help in reducing the high cases of deaths and abortion which are being witnessed in the society today. Incase homosexuals decide to adopt a child, the possibility of neglect is very low as this would be a decision between two independent people. Same-sex marriage reduces the dominance by one partner which is associated with union between a man and a woman. For fear of victimization, most gays and lesbians are forced into heterosexual marriages against their will. However, they still continue to live their homosexual lives by secretly relating to other homosexuals while staying in the same-sex marriage. Therefore, accepting same-sex marriage will help reduce this unfaithfulness and promote marriage to one partner (Sullivan, A. , 2004). Since the society allows all kinds of people and groups to marry including murderers, thieves as well as marriage between people of different races. Condemning same-sex marriage is discrimination of the minority who are supposed to be protected by the constitution just like any other group. As opposed to what Bennet believes, it would not be the first time that the institution of marriage is experiencing change; Marriage between different races which are happening today never happened several years ago (Bennett, J. W. 1996). The strong position against homosexuality which is adopted by the church is an intrusion into private business. This is because marriage is a personal commitment between the two people involved in the relationship. This marriage therefore hurts no one who is not part of the relationship (Bennett, J. W. 1996). Every element of the society is transforming hence disregarding same-sex marriage is simply refusing to accept the natural changes in the institution of marriage. The acceptance of homosexuality as evident among school pupils is an indication that homosexuality is a thing of the current generation hence nature should be allowed to take its course. Bennet should not argue against adoption by gay and lesbian couples as this would be better that single parenting. The long-term repercussions of same-sex marriage talked about by those against gay marriage are baseless and coming out of fear of the unknown; accepting same-sex union would only serve to create more choices concerning marriage and people would be guided by individual choices. (Bennett, J. W. 1996). Conclusion From the accounts given above, same-sex marriage should be allowed and homosexuals do not deserve the harsh criticism and victimization that they are undergoing in the society. Legislation and rules governing marriage only needs to be adjusted to provide for same-sex union. Reference Bennett, J. W. (1996). Gay Marriage: Not a very good idea. The Washington Post. OP-ED; Pg. A19 Sullivan, A. (2004). Same-sex Marriage, Pro and Con: A Reader. New York: Vintage Books.

Comparing 1984 And The Giver By George Orwell - 979 Words

The world has observed multiple authoritarian governments rise throughout history. These regimes have carried a faà §ade in front of their subjects to remain powerful and glorified. However, the true circumstances of the society are not perfect, in fact, they convey the opposite. Such governments, impose their ideologies amongst their innocent citizens. Citizens are unable to speak out against their government or hold political freedoms. To remain in power, the reigning party must utilize tactics to manipulate its people. These techniques are evident in the novels 1984 and The Giver. Many critics make connections between these books because of their comparable plot characteristics. The Giver by Lois Lowry is similar to 1984 by George Orwell†¦show more content†¦The novel tackles subjects concerning the ethics of abortion, euthanasia, suicide, and the nature of the family unit. When The Giver was published during 1993, the value of celebrating differences versus the value of being uniform was among the most prominent of debates. One of the book’s main subjects, â€Å"Sameness† may be some insight into Lowry’s stance of the conversation at the time, a critique against the politically correct predisposition to ignore the variances between groups to avoid being labeled discriminatory. As a result, both Lowry’s personal affairs and world issues influenced The Giver. In like manner, 1984 came from the author’s experiences and current political atmosphere. George Orwell’s politically charged novels were the result of his growing hatred toward the rise of dictators and totalitarian states at the time; Adolf Hitler in Germany and Joseph Stalin in the Soviet Union to name a couple. 1936 was the year Orwell witnessed the brutality undertaken by fascist political regimes during his time in Spain to report on the Spanish Civil War. In addition to the heated political atmosphere of the late 30’s and 40’s, Orwell had hated dictatorial control during his childhood and experiences in various countries. Growing up in prestigious boarding schools, he felt oppressed by the overbearing control these schools had exploited over their students’ lives. After his graduation, instead of going to college, Orwell worked as aShow MoreRelatedComparing Utopia Compared To 1984 And The Giver, By George Orwell847 Words   |  4 Pagesperfe ct qualities; everyone lives in harmony, and all actions are done for the greater good. A book similar to 1984, written by George Orwell, is The Giver which is written by Lois Lowry. Both books carry nearly the same situation throughout the reading: there’s a person or two, who does not fit in because they do not believe in the idea of a utopian society. Unlike The Giver though, 1984 ends in a rather desolate way. Winston Smith has been stripped of any past beliefs and thoughts that he once hadRead More1984 in Comparison to The Giver1808 Words   |  8 Pagestorture, and constant fear, all of these are key elements in the distopia George Orwell creates in the novel, 1984. In this book, Orwell creates a society which is based solely on hate and controlled by those who seek only power. Orwell, however, is not the only author to ponder the possibility of an extreme, futuristic society. In particular, The Giver, by Louis Lowry relates a great deal to the themes found in 1984. Un like 1984, Lowrys novel focuses on the idea of a utopia as opposed to Orwells distopiaRead MoreSantrock Edpsych Ch0218723 Words   |  75 PagesProcesses, Periods, and Stages www.mcgrawhill.ca/college/santrock Page 34 Children are the legacy we leave for a time we will not live to see. Aristotle Greek Philosopher, 4th Century B.C. EXPLORING HOW CHILDREN DEVELOP Twentieth-century philosopher George Santayana once reflected, â€Å"Children are on a different plane. They belong to a generation and way of feeling properly their own.† Let’s explore what that plane is like. Why Studying Children’s Development Is Important Why study children’s development